Cold Like You
by MadHatterBellatrix10
Summary: 21 Bellamort centered drabbles. Completed finally! Read the thrilling conclusion NOW! :
1. You play to win

**A/N: A series of Bellamort drabbles. This is my disclaimer so that I don't have to repeat again, I own nothing but my ideas.**

There's nothing as tempestuous as the smell of a fire, in Malfoy Manor during midwinter. If I go outside, I'll surely freeze to death.

The cold bitter snow kissing my cheeks and getting lost in my tangles of hair. The way I know you never would, because you play to win, not for the sake of getting lost in the game.

I remember my first days in your service, seems too long ago now.

They all know I'm your favorite, you can see it in their eyes. They fear you, I admire you. Watching from as close as you'll allow it, still bearing some of the scars. Of nights full of your fury and your passion.

But, for some reason, I liked it.

I liked the pain, it showed that maybe you somehow cared, but sometimes this was all like a game of Russian roulette.

Turning tables on myself, for better or for worse, I do not know.


	2. Just a Doll

**A/N: I hope you like it, I don't think it's very good. **

You come down the hall; they know you mean business; Cissy and Lucius leave the room.

I don't think they know exactly what we get up to, but there are rumors. Rumors that I'm the Dark Lord's little whore. But I'm not, even though the glances between us at meetings almost make it obvious.

If it were anyone but you, I'd scream stop, and I'd curse them into oblivion. You tricked me to follow you, knowing I can't resist the allure of your touch.

Softly caressing my face, but then getting more passionate. You bite into my lip and draw blood. I want to scream, it just hurts so much, but because it's you, I can't escape. Even if I wanted to.

You unlace my corset and pull off my boots. A little voice in my head mocks me, it sounds like Roddy

. I don't like to think that I'm just your doll. Yours to undress and play with as you please, until you get bored.

But, as you rip open my shirt, and I feel your icy touch on my skin, I realise maybe I am.


	3. Cruciatus

_Don't Speak Bella, _My mind reminds me.

His wave of fury overcoming all of us, all because of bloody Lucius. Cissa holds Lucius while he writhes in pain, screaming and sobbing, like a child in a nightmare.

The Cruciatus is too much for some, but not I. I've lived it too many times before to be afraid.

When the Dark Lord has finally given it a rest, everyone is on the ground, soaked in sweat, drenched in fears.

He wasn't stopping at me, I obviously deserved it. Eyes linger on each others' wounds, scars burn and minds become weaker.

He'll keep on breaking us down, until he gets his answer, because failure is not good enough for him.

And Praise from him would be like a snowstorm in June. But I don't mind, because I'd punish myself too if I were the one responsible for a mistake in his presence.

Sometimes, I almost wish he loved me, but I know I'm not worthy, of a power such as that.


	4. Picture Perfect Sweetness

**A/N: Yes, this chapter is a bit OoC, but I needed to show Bella's soft side before th next chapter, because it's going to be pretty Dark. **

I sometimes can't help a spare thought for you. Wishing in an off sort of way that you'd mine. And only mine.

Your mind changes like the weather, even if you're not faking your feelings. Sometimes I get a crazy idea, that the few lonely sun-drenched days we've ever spent, full of whispers and smirks, that they mean something.

Surely the moments before spent together before missions are priceless, but only to me. It's a rare occasion like this, you see.

Because you taunt me with your words, and your lips, trying to make me fall, but being with you makes me too strong to feel that.

This is one of the only moments we've ever spent living almost like you love me.

I almost think I'd like it this way, but you could never respect me if I had that opinion, no, days 'wasted' like that are missing something.


	5. Promise

"Promise me." He whispers, his breath snaking down the back of your neck. Your heart beats racing as you turn to face him.

Never had you imagined to be so entrusted to him. You have been bound, by the unbreakable vow, to him and his darkest secrets.

"Bellatrix answer me," he shrieks at you "You are hinder by your feelings towards me." You freeze cold as ice, and a red blush creeps up your onto your otherwise pale face.

"No I'm Not!" You scream at him and reach for your wand for protection. He loses his temper at you, and pain that feels like fire courses through your body.

You finally break his control and run out of the room, tears behind your eyes. All the time wasted on something you could Never have.

Not because of the pain of the curse, but rather the pain of who you've become. You splash water on your face, trying to awake from the terror. _What do I see in him? _You wonder, but almost immediately you stumble across the answer:

"Everything."

Because you are to him nothing but a chess piece, a pawn, if you must, in his plans. But he's your world, and somehow he knows, somehow they all know.


	6. First Impressions

"Second Chances don't matter Bella. The first impression is everything."

Those were the words my parents had instilled upon me from birth.

Wanting me to be a perfect little flower, But, that was Narcissa's job. I was destined to be great, a warrior if you will.

Somehow, I was weaker than that. I'd fall to his feet and kiss the hems of his robes. The others did it too, but only out of respect, it was so much more for me.

His lips were the sweetest flavor, and his eyes were soul-searching.

I knew My Lord could do Legilicemency, but never this much. Somehow he found his way deeper into me, levels of unknown, things I wouldn't have discovered.

My parents always said that the first impressions are the lasting ones, but he seem to make a new one on me every time we meet.


	7. Fallen

It's aggravating and enough to drive any person mad, unless of course you were never quite sane to begin with.

Waiting.

I'm tired of waiting, in Azkaban was one thing, but I had hope. What do I have now?

Nothing.

Expecting to be rewarded beyond my wildest dreams, I had hoped I'd get that privilege. But, I'm feeling in despair.

Severus Snape, the one who joined forces with Albus Dumbledore, is your new favorite. But I had spent my time for you, and now all I get is

"That's nice Bella." I thought we had something special, and nothing I do can seem to get it back.

No matter how many news reports or tortured Mudbloods I bring you, Severus is always better. Nothing seems to satisfy you, I'd know because I've tried it all.

Maybe this is some sort of test of my loyalty and I'm supposed to die because I'm no longer worthy? But, if that's what you wish, I swear I'd do it, I'll be faithful till the end.

Though I'm sick of thinking things will change but they never do. I've somehow fallen into a hole of despair.

And despite the neglecting, you've made me love you even more.


	8. Sweet Emptiness

**A/N: Sorry I couldn't post last night, I was really busy. So you get two today :)**

Sweet emptiness.

Driving me crazy and eating me up. I can't feel without you, I can't breathe. No matter if they try to give me Rodolphus instead, he's not you.

He's a pathetic fool who would've died if it weren't for me. I married him and I still got you somehow.

Or rather, you got me. I don't ever understand how people say that you are using me.

I refuse for it to be true, I can't believe they'd say a word against you, crazy they must be.

They obviously fear power, they are too weak to seek it. But I'm not, that's why I sought out after you.

I can't bear for a time that you'd be dead and I'd be alive and alone, it already happened, I missed you too much.

Please don't leave me alone like everyone has before.


	9. Mud Blood

Torture for praise, kill for respect, fight for a place amongst your ranks, and repeat. They call me insane, but I'm only doing what I love, the way I want to.

Mud Bloods who have disgraced our name as wizards need to be punished.

The Granger girl learned that the hard way. I can still remember pressing her against the floor and screaming in her face.

The pleasure I felt immeasurable to no other feelings. Fighting for your cause, showing them the power of Lord Voldemort versus the young and useless Harry Potter and friends.

I carved Mud Blood into her arm, to show her what our power together means, the fact that she needed to realize that stealing isn't ok for little filth like her.

Nothing is ok for scum that dare taint our blood lines, they don't deserve to live.

I cackled and shrieked and relished her pain, because that's what I do.

I'd do anything for you.


	10. Rodolphus

Rodolphus is only good for one thing. I come home with bruises and scratches and bite marks all over, marks from curses amongst those things.

I cry because you say you don't love me, but you do this to me every time.

Often the pain is invisible, just in the heart, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.

No, Roddy can somehow see it above all others. Just like he can see the non-existent good in me, the false light. The secrets between you and I run deeper than blood in the veins.

They all say to love you is to die by your hand, but I'm not so sure.

Rodolphus is good for almost nothing, except comfort in him when I can stoop no lower.

He'll kiss me when you kicked me, he'll take me when you wanted better. But, he's nothing to me. He's not you.


	11. Lonely

**A/N: I hope you enjoy it. I can picture this definitely happening between them, well minus the Narcissa part. Woa, over half done, how do you guys feel? Will you miss this? Or not? Leave a review and let me know :)**

I continue fingering and touching my special spot in bed, despite Roddy's protests to stop.

You don't seem to care for me anymore.

I sometimes surprise you after Death Eater meetings, but you always send me away claiming you're too busy for this.

"Stop moaning Bella!" Rodolphus shouts at me. He's still feeling annoyed with the way I complain that you no longer favor me.

"Fuck off Rodolphus!" I shout right back, even though we're both in the same bed.

"It's not my fault you love the Dark Lord and not your own husband! He can't love you" he mumbles to me, obviously too tired to argue, but I'm not ready to back down just yet.

"Yea, ok, says you. You fuck my sister and you love me you tool. At least I only have feelings for one man, though you're not really a man!" I scream, enjoying the way insulting you feels.

"Take it back" he yells,

"Never" I scream back and he turns towards me. He raises his hand and gives me a big slap across the cheek. I grab my wand and enjoy Crucioing him, but he deserves it, he pushed me too far.

"Asshole" I mutter at his broken looking figure before getting up and putting on my clothes and traveling cloak.

Maybe killing some muggles will take my mind off the way I feel for you.


	12. Laughter

In flashbacks at night, awaking in sweaty oblivion, I see your face. I relive it all, the scarlet blushes, the soft touches, but I can see other things too.

Begging and pleading, screaming and crying, bleeding for you, because you took it out on me. I'm your best lieutenant, your Bella, but I'm your slave too.

"Bella" you whisper, "your stance is wrong, it will not produce the strongest spell you could be capable of. Don't let what others may say control you, I know you will be loyal to the end."

I smile because I need some way to release all this pride you have given me.

I try to concentrate but golden bubbles start coming out of my wand because I'm too happy to Imperius anyone.

You laugh a cold-high pitched laugh, I cackle too. But you're mocking me, not laughing with me.

Your laughter is bittersweet to me.


	13. Like Him

"I killed Sirius Black!" I screech with glee. Potter's face is worth a thousand prizes right now, how angry he is.

Beyond words, the way I'd have been if you died. The scrawny boy chases me, his green eyes flashing dangerously, like he wants to fight.

Ok, we're playing this way apparently, but little baby Potter doesn't know how to play, not like I do.

He tries to Crucio me, but it's usless, his anger is hostile, but he is weak.

I taunt him even more, and I wonder if you are looking down on me proudly as I take blows at your nemesis' ego.

I slow down in mid-run and trip, I can feel his useless attempts at torturing me, but I can only think of the truth.

This game, it's how we play, I'm like Potter and you're like me.

Endless attacks upon who I am and I try to be better, but it never works.

I'm as weak inside as the boy who lived.

But surely that can't be possible, I am a warrior after all?


	14. Gone

Sometimes I wish I had those muggle things Cissy wears, what are they called?

Oh right, sunglasses, because then you couldn't see the pain in my eyes as you reward Severus for something. Something I could've done better.

Then,people couldn't see the tears that barely escaped my eyes when I'd come home after you used me.

Somehow every time I fall in love again, like a foolish weak muggle, every time I see you. But for some reason you no longer want me. And then I open the door

"Roddy, get your arse over here" I scream before breaking down in tears.

I'm too good for this; I'm too tired for this. I run downstairs and he's not there, I search the whole house before going up to bed. He's probably waiting there,

"Stupid, bloody, good for nothing! Little mud blood brat" I mutter because he wasn't where he was supposed to be. I jump onto his side of the bed but feeling nothing but the covers and a little bump.

I lift them to find a hastily scrawled note.

_Bella,_

_Gone to help Narcissa with something, be back tomorrow. Not like you care._

_Rodolphus._

Help? Help? He's fucking my sister right now while I suffer the pain the Dark Lord has imposed upon me.

I close my eyes and try not to believe that my husband has finally moved on.

Then, I break down in tears because the one who was always there after the Dark Lord hurt me, the one who always loved me even though I neglected him.

Well, he's gone.


	15. Goodbye my Innocence

Remember how I first fell into your world? I do. I close my eyes and let sleep devour me, while in the process, I dream.

And dream I do as I recall that day.

_Long dark hallways casting shadows across the walls and painted pictures of ghastly looking people. I shudder with a bit of fright and hurry down the hall faster._

_ "H-hello? My Lord? My father said you had wanted to see me a-and here I am" I whispered into the room shaking with fright. I felt a slight tap on the shoulder and turned to see you. _

_ "Ah, Bellatrix, I believe we've met before? I heard you're a great little warrior, fourteen aren't you?" He asked me mockingly knowing that I was too afraid to answer. I found my voice and tried to use it_

_ "I-I- I'm fifteen actually" I stuttered and he smirked at me. _

_ "So young, innocent and naive" he muttered but I found my courage this time _

_ "I'm not!" I screamed. _

_ "Then prove it" he laughed. I pulled out my wand and began to duel the greatest Wizard of all time, we kept a pretty good fight for maybe thirty seconds before he overpowered me._

_ He searched the very corners and crevices of my mind, ignoring my pain before subsiding. He loomed over me and sighed, he gave me a hand up and studied me for a second. _

_ He suddenly knew what he wanted to do, I had no idea I'd have become faithful to him like this, that I'd lose my innocence like this._

_ "Oh Bella," he whispered He tucked a dark strand of hair behind my ear before picking me up and throwing me on his bed. _

_ He threw himself beside me and within five minutes I had been a changed person. _

_ Sure, I had been far from innocent, but I hadn't planned on losing my virginity like that at such a young age._

While my mind crept further on into the dream, I tossed and turned at the remembrance of that truth.


	16. Choke

**A/N: sorry that its been so long. Life got busy, I got a new phone, and I'm super happy cause I have a boyfriend so writing sad stuff is hard 3 :) **

In the back of my mind I can hear the echoes of me telling my sisters not to cry. When things were hopeless even though there was a million reasons to give up.

I remembered that once upon a time and sighed hard enough to stop the sobs shaking my body.

Yes, I'm a warrior, they've never seen me cave in and break down like this. Enough to run out of the meeting at full force, but it was unusual. No, I wasn't chasing a mudblood or Lucius, I was holding back my pain and trying to re-gather my pride.

" My wand!" I gasp. I wanted to die and disappear right now, humiliated for loving him, in front of them, and him.

Scorned, mocked, like my useless husband, I can't understand it.

I reach for the only thing close enough to stop the pain, I wrap the cord tight around my neck. The burning feeling hurts, but it'll be over soon.

I pull tighter and tighter until I feel myself falling. But instead of onto the cold floor, into the arms of someone who's made the cord disappear.

Made my pain worse, but made me live in this cruel world, because I don't deserve to be free of this Hell.

No, not in my Lord's mind, who else would catch me?


	17. Not Invisible

**A/N: Sorry, life went on, anyways, Drabble 17 :) Enjoy.**

Maybe you don't like your Death Eaters doing death stunts like that? How could I be so stupid? The days that follow are the most torturous of my life.

Most other Death Eaters love being inconspicuous, not me. I want to always be seen by you, but now I'm stuck as the others.

You have lost faith in me, and every day is long, the nights are only longer. Sitting and waiting, you won't talk to me, you won't acknowledge me, and I've realized that doing stupid things is a waste of time.

The first night after, I address you a total of fourteen times at the table to which you ignore me or, if you must, speak minimally.

I wear the lowest cut corsets possible and give you ample time to see that. But, one can only drop silverware and bend down slowly in front of her Master so many times before he gets annoyed.

Normally, that sight drove him crazy, and I'd be pressed up against the dining room wall faster than you can say "Imperio".

But, I've really broken his trust this time, enough that nothing gives him more pleasure than to escape my company.

He won't let me near any weaponry, yet he knows I could just turn my wand on myself at any moment. But I won't, he knows I have enough self respect, that's why he'd play this cruel game.

Anything but this, I plead internally, Because I'd rather be called out on my every flaw than live without him knowing I exist.


	18. Death Map

"Bella? Get up off your knees you filthy squib. CRUCIO!"

The Dark Lord shouted at me. I couldn't feel the air moving in and out of my lungs, I was surely dead. "

You stupid bloody bitch! DON'T YOU DARE EVEN LOOK AT ME! Bloody pathetic you are, trying to kill yourself because of humiliation. What are you an auror? LOOK AT ME, WHORE, WHILE I'M TALKING!"

He screamed and continued repeating the curse. I cried and begged and finally I was awake. Drenched in sweat, sobbing loudly into my pillow. Just a dream... I remember... and I crept out of bed towards the upstairs.

"My Lord, She is of no use to us anymore. Azkaban broke her, all she does is cry and fall to pieces when you aren't looking. "

My mouth fell open as I saw Severus standing there contemplating my Death with the Dark Lord. The fragile line we walked had just been broken, and I couldn't trust anyone anymore.

I crept back into bed horror struck. But, if the Dark Lord wanted me to die, I would do it, because I'd rather die loyal than run away and shame myself.

* * *

And in his hand as he walked by the falsely sleeping figure of Bella, Severus held a small bottle. It had lace and roses all embroidered over the sides. And this little bottle, it held Bella's death in it.


	19. Draco's Warning

"Good morning Bella" the Dark Lord said at breakfast and I jumped out of her seat, he hadn't spoken word to me in days.

"Good morning my Lord," I tried to beam up at him like usual, but it just wasn't coming. It was hard to swallow the idea that the man I loved, wanted me dead. I wanted to eat, but nothing seemed right, because my death was fast approaching.

I could envision someone jumping over the table and killing me, or Nagini swallowing me whole, or someone sending me out on a doomed raid party.

The Dark Lord looked between I and Severus multiple times before I excused myself, fearing I'd outburst, promising me an instant death. On my way to my Chambers, I ran into Draco.

"Aunt Bella, listen quick, I heard something last night... " Draco began and I seized him by the throat. I carried him into the Library and put a Muffliato spell on our conversation.

"Speak boy, "I snarled, looking much more menacing than I felt. My world was a jigsaw puzzle missing the center piece, a pensieve with a false memory.

"Uncle Sev has a potion, Draught of the Living Death they're trying to put it into your food, trust no one." Draco whispered and I hurried from the Library running for dear life.


	20. Saved Again

**A/N: Almost done.**

I'll never let them take me I thought wildly with glee. But, the week was soon over and I was as alive as could be.

"I killed him, I killed him!" I shrieked and ran in circles while I watched a family burn alive. Monica McDaughtery and her husband John and their baby boy Brett. They had been aurors who would've only gotten in my way.

Screaming and dancing in a circle I saw my lord winking over at me. My heart stopped again, I'd given up everything I'd ever had just to find him again. I flashed back to another night alone.

* * *

"Come back to me, please my Lord, I love you.." I whispered over and over in Azkaban.

"Bella, love is for the weak" his voice said, sounding much too real, and I looked to my cell door, to see him standing there.

I stood up shakily, trying to determine if it was an illusion, but it hadn't been.

My despair was over, for he had come for me, gosh he had taken over me. I gazed up at his new form, my eyes taking a few seconds to adjust to it, he was still beautiful to me either way.

* * *

"BELLAAA!" someone screamed at me and I hollered as the pain went through me before I passed out.


	21. Lips of Poison

**A/N: The thrilling conclusion. Try not to be too shocked, or cry as much as I did :o**

"Stupid girl," The Dark Lord muttered angrily at me when I awoke. It couldn't have been earlier than two AM. "Too busy fantasizing, you are weak! A pathetic butterfly at most" I almost smirked my brain felt so fuzzy. He threw me my wand,

"Prove you aren't weak! Prove that you can still fight, that I need you, that I shouldn't kill you. Because I'm beginning to think I've been delusional about you, and in reality, I have emotions for you. Ha! Impossible!" he spat his words at me.

"Crucio!" I shouted at him, but I just couldn't damn well harm him. I was exactly as he said I was, but for a second there, it seemed as though he might've loved me.

The thought overwhelmed me with joy and I narrowly missed being hit with the Killing Curse.

Finally I disarmed him and was looming over him, I was in power now.

"Kill me Bella, if you're truly not weak, kill me." I looked at him and raised my wand but it felt wrong. I dropped it out of my hand and let it roll to the floor. A tear slid down my left cheek and dropped onto my dark mark, feeling icy cold.

"I can't" I whispered, and he laughed a cold high-pitched merciless laugh.

"Because you're weak Bella" he snarled,

"No, because I love you" I cried out at him as his face turned into a mask.

He slammed his lips into mine and I felt time slowing and my brain beginning to freeze. Damn, I should've seen this one coming.

Slowly I felt myself fall to the floor and Voldemort right after me.

Lips laced with poison, killing not one, but both of us.

~ The End~

**A/N: Review? Please? It was a thrilling end, eh?**


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